


Hug

by AngelynMoon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Sad, Stiles needed a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelynMoon/pseuds/AngelynMoon
Summary: What is the difference between a last hug and a first?





	Hug

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote this when i might not have been in the best place mentally but writing was the better option, i suggest reading this with that in mind, possibly chosing not to read this if you yourself are not in a good place.
> 
> As always to those who do chose to read please let me know if a tag needs to be added.

'How is a last hug different from a first? Do you hold tighter for the last, even when you don't know, is a fist hug softer, gentle, is a last hug somehow more loving even when the hugger is unaware that there will never be another hug with this person?

And what of the one being hugged, do they squeeze just that bit more, do they hold on for just that breath longer when the other goes to let go?

How does a last hug differ from a first? 

Is it when someone asks to be hugged that makes it different, makes it unusual?

Is it when some one asks if another person needs a hug and gives them one anyway?

Are all hugs intrinsically different, whether they are a first hug or a last or someplace around the middle?

Is it the emotions that come with the hug that makes them differ. 

The sadness that clings to a grief filled hug, the grasping hands that hold tight and won't release?

The joy that fills laughter as one person swings a friend around as they catch them close and hold on?

Is is the tears in a hugger's eyes as they ask for a hug they need but rarely, if ever, ask for? That moment of human contact they pretend they don't need as they wonder if they matter, not to the universe, they know better than that but just to that one single person that will make living worth it?

What happens when the hug is refused? When the questioner is mocked for that single moment of weakness?

And suddenly that hug is not the last one, suddenly the last hug becomes one that they can hardly remember, one wrapped up in grief and sorrow, one that they didn't ask for, didn't want but gave anyway because they knew the other needed it.

How does a first hug differ from a last?

The answer....

They don't.'

Derek felt tears in his eyes as he finished listening, he wondered why it was him that Stiles had chosen to call, wondered why the boy hadn't called his father instead and by all that Derek believed in he wished he had answered, wished that he had taken the call but he hadn't, hadn't been in the position to answer but he wished he had answered anyway maybe then Stiles wouldn't be gone.

Maybe if he had answered Stiles would have asked for the hug he wanted but hadn't gotten. 

Derek wasn't much for affection, especially towards Stiles but Derek knew, he knew what it felt like when one needed a hug but was afraid to ask for it, was afraid that they didn't deserve it and so fell silent before the question crossed their lips.

Derek wished he had hugged Stiles tighter the last time he held him, held him longer and just tucked Stiles close and safe beneath his chin but he hadn't.

Derek hadn't because he hadn't known that that would be Stiles' last hug, his final contact with another person that cared for him.

Derek hit play on the voice message and listened again to Stiles' last ramble.

'How is a last hug different from a first?....'

And as Derek listened he realized that the only difference was who was left behind, who walked away and never returned.

Derek realized that Stiles, as usual, was right.

There was no difference except the timing. 

\---

A/n: sorry folks, i'm not feeling so good emotionally so i decided to write my feelings out instead of acting them out so now you've got this crap here and half of you are probably crying. 

I'd apologize but i'm crying to for other reasons so...

Yeah i implied that Stiles committed suicide, you can place this after the Nogitsune story line or where ever.


End file.
